That kid Billy that everybody hates

lurky mc lurkerson

2006-01-24T11:40:27Z

To all who would want to know, but too afraid to ask, (or banned for that matter), I am well. I am happy, and my life is being fulfilled.

mhmm

2006-01-16T09:35:23Z

Im a jerk....

Fingers moving faster

2006-01-13T04:26:45Z

Even if I never love again. Even if I forget what your smile looks like, I am happy that you are gone. I have bled enough for both sides in this war. I am losing touch, and my heart is running deep and away. I willingly let this die. Life Support for a love that can't sustain, is worthless after all. I will push away all that care about me now. No bridge left intact, at least while I have matches left. Sleep will come less, and depression will set. Smiles will fade, and Eyes will glaze. I wish you no ill will my, bitter-sweet. I wish you only what you have sewn, and let deplete.

It has begun. The self destructive behaviour. The inability to let myself be helped. I will let my pain eat my friends alive. I will drag you down with me. I am sorry. I cannot control it. I am at my broken hearts mercy.

The V is full of shit

2005-12-28T12:01:32Z

there was this girl who fooled me for a second. It pisses me off that I fell for it. Why isn't anyone real anymore?

pretty much

2005-12-28T09:42:56Z

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck girls

A letter:

2005-12-22T07:52:06Z

I love you with all of my heart. You know this. I think everyone knows this. I am so lost and hurt, and I have no idea what is going through your head, but I wish I could settle it all down for you. Just give me a straight answer. Please. I would give anything to share my heart with you. I love you.

fool mc gee

2005-11-26T01:17:15Z

I am stupid. I will never learn. I will love forever.

bottlerockets @ 2005-11-05T20:24:00

2005-11-06T04:24:34Z

Just to flip things on it's head, I'm gunna post about how stoked I am right now...I fucking love my life. I love my friends. Even if some shit sucks, It can't get any better, so whatever, I'll deal. FUCKIT!

bottlerockets @ 2005-11-02T18:53:00

2005-11-03T02:53:36Z

wow...downer. I don't know what other bad news I could hear today.

I've never been ignored this much...

2005-10-29T07:53:02Z

oh where to start? Today was horrible. I don't even wanna think about it anymore.

band aids, mustaches, and a guy named bradley

2005-10-28T03:47:31Z

wow. I forgot I had this.

I always go through waves of using this shit. I guess it always depends on whether I have something to rant about.

Anyway, I'm bothered right now by the fact that my phone never rings when it should. I suppose I shouldn't be worried about it, but whatever, I get all emo anyway. Maybe, it has something to do with actions speaking louder than words? It would seem that way, except that there are not even words to contradict the actions....

Other than that, I exploded the tip of my finger tonight. I'm missing some of it now. It fucking hurts.

bottlerockets @ 2005-08-14T02:30:00

2005-08-14T09:32:21Z

Im really annoyed right now. Things are working out well for me, but i am totally miserable at this exact moment. fuck bullshit. fuck luke. fuck no cowboy bebop on saturday nights.

bottlerockets @ 2005-08-01T13:02:00

2005-08-01T20:08:21Z

I'm super annoyed right now. I seriously don't trust anyone. bah.

bottlerockets @ 2005-07-27T23:01:00

2005-07-28T06:02:03Z

I just watched the pilot for FX's new "Over There". I am affected. I am nauseated. I am outraged.

fucking brutal.

bottlerockets @ 2005-07-18T15:22:00

2005-07-18T22:22:28Z

When it rains, it pours. And you're all flooding my mind at the same time.

She wishes she was black

2005-07-15T18:47:43Z

I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory last night. It was amazing. I would actually go see it again. Tonight at the fair, X is playing. I wanna go, but I am definitely not paying to get in. sneaky sneaky time.

Today I am gunna run around and play with motorcycles. Its totally yucky outside right now tho..bum out.
This weekend is getting booked up already, I hate that. I don't like being committed to plans so far in advance.

Live at 10

2005-07-15T05:01:29Z

Things are happening. It's good. Reinvention is my favorite pastime

bottlerockets @ 2005-07-13T23:38:00

2005-07-14T06:41:33Z

I managed to make it to catalina today. I wasn't there for very long, but it was absolutely beautiful out there. I need to go there and spend some more time exploring and enjoying the natural beauty of the area. Things are kinda odd for me right now. I don't know what this is, but it's nagging at me. I have to figure it out soon. One of these days I'll put my lil thinking cap on and nail it down. Beach with Sandrine tomorrow. I miss her.

bottlerockets @ 2005-07-13T11:52:00

2005-07-13T18:52:32Z

I don't know why, but I already hate today. guh.

they make me look stupid. at least im good at it.

2005-07-12T02:29:08Z

this just about sums it up.

2005-07-09T19:06:15Z

FUCK!

the horror of this business

2005-07-08T08:29:08Z

I have ruined their hearts. I am the most unlucky moment in their lives. Watch me tear them apart. There is laced destruction in the blue of these eyes.
I apologize
I apologize
I apologize

A Preface

2005-07-07T01:24:32Z

I am feeling the overwhelming need to paint an honest portrait of my life. To rid myself of my demons. To bear my soul to the world and be judged, loved, hated, and maybe just accepted. So many things in my life have never left the dark recesses of my mind. Even my best friends, my family, and my closest love have never been privy to the secrets of my past, present, and hopeful future. I have been lower, and in even more dire straits than anyone has ever thought. I hide it well. I am stronger than you will ever need to be. Right now I am in my weakest moments. I am scared of these new thoughts that push to the forefront of my mind. They beg to be shared. They scream for the light of day. They scream for the story of my life to be heard by all who will listen. To go back to the days of innocence lost. To the days that are too far back to remember. My disaster began so much sooner than you will even believe. The days of preschool were the beginning of tragedy and it only got worse as the years wore on. This work in progress which is the tale of loss, redemption, and broken hearts is mine. I will share it soon.

goddammit.

2005-06-30T00:23:19Z

my car still doesn't work. I went down there to pick it up and it's not working. GREAT. I'm so stoked. Mark said it will prolly be another 6 or 7 hundred dollars. sweeeeeeeeeeeet. I was supposed to go hang out with Christine up in LA tonight and that is totally shot now. I've been looking forward to that for a week. TODAY FUCKING SUCKS!!!!

anne arbour

2005-06-26T05:35:53Z

so random that I haven't heard this song in so long, and then all of a sudden....